Sometimes the best intentions do not go to plan.
Last night I sat with my teenage children to have dinner. The house was peaceful, dinner ready and I had been looking forward to catching up with them all day.
I started the conversation by chatting to my son about his upcoming Duke of Edinburgh, however the conversation did not go well. Our moods were not aligned.
I shifted focus to my daughter, asking her to share her day, but again we were not working from the same script and the conversation plummeted.
In the end I left the table, dinner half eaten to clear my head.
I have always found it difficult to process and order my thoughts when I feel tense. My thinking goes off its own path, misdirected by the thoughts of others.
What once seemed like a simple and clear idea now appears surrounded by multiple avenues of thought.
I become frustrated about being misunderstood, I feel that people aren’t really listening, and not giving any thought or value to my comments. This frustration in the past has built into sudden emotional outbursts.
Over time I have learnt that sitting quietly for a few minutes can help me find clarity. Helps me reconnect with my purpose.
After a couple of minutes my son came and found me and we chatted. I returned to the table and I stated my intention for the meal and our chat; that I wanted to connect with them.
From this point we all made more of an effort. My daughter lightened the mood with facts about snail rectums and my son shared humorous stories from school.
In the end my intention was met, we had a lovely meal and shared our days.
The process of working through our own thoughts and feelings actually made the evening better and we came out feeling more connected as a result.
Sometimes the best intentions do not go to plan, sometimes facing the challenges make them better.